Day 21: Restoring the Bond, Overcoming Parent-Child Disconnect

Welcome to day 21 of the 31 Days of Restoration: Spiritual and Emotional Support for Parents of Children with Special Needs. You can find the main page for this series here.

I bonded with my son immediately.

While other babies slept in their Isolette in ICU, my little guy was wide-eyed and ready to conquer the world. The second we locked eyes, I felt an instant connection with him. I was looking into the eyes of an old soul who knew so much more than I did.

As a homeschooling mom to this now 11-year old, I have been with him every single day of his life. Other than hospitalizations early in his life, I have never been away from him even one night.

Some say we are two peas in a pod.

I love being his mother, and I have been attentive to his needs his entire life. However, every so often, I experience an emotional disconnect in my relationship with him. The first time this happened, I thought I was a bad mother for feeling distant. But, I eventually realized my mind was protecting me.

When a parent is so involved in their child’s life (as we parents of children with special needs often are), there comes a time when we need to distance ourselves to heal ourselves. As homeschoolers, we need to let our kids be their own little beings while we find our way as well.

I have learned that I can still be a loving parent, but allow caregivers, friends, and family members to be just as nourishing in his life. Beautiful things happen when we accept we don’t have to be invested in our child 24/7. Love him, yes. But, it’s OK if we feel upset, or sad, or distant from time to time. If the emotional disconnect is a healthy one, we often bounce back into our loving role in no time.

Affirmations for Restoring the Bond and Overcoming Parent-Child Disconnect

  • Even though I feel distant from my child today, I know that my mind is protecting me.
  • Even though I feel disconnected from my child today, I trust that the bond will return in its own time.
  • Even if there is an emotional disconnect today, our energetic connection can never be dissolved.
  • My child knows I love him even if I am not as involved today.
  • My child uses this space to thrive.
  • My child uses this space to soar.
  • No matter the distance, I know I will be OK.
  • No matter the distance, my child will be OK.
  • No matter the distance, it will all be OK.

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